She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
