Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
