she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
