I hate your face
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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