Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just had sex on a roof
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
