My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
