he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
