i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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