i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
