plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
