Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
