And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think a kid would responsible me up
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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