I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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