he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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