I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
