he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
