Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
