remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
