So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
