My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
