I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
