he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
