I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
