It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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