in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
