He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
