Is it because I queefed?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
its liver damage thursday
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
