Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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