I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
