i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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