Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
