fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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