butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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