i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
