You can't special order awesome
farters have to be the big spoon...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
