I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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