Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just cropdusted the office
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
