Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
