We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
