I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
