aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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