Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
