this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
