She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
