Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just puked most of my soul out..
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
