Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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