if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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