problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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