mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
