I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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