I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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