I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
