Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
