You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
